čtvrtek 8. listopadu 2018

How to keep your language learning routine while pregnant, juggling three jobs and studying for a doctorate (and stay sane)


At first, I was a bit reluctant to post this article too early as it hasn‘t yet been clear neither if I will survive nor if I will actually manage to keep my language learning routine during the few last months of madness. After nearly eight months in the game, I now feel a little bit more confident to talk about how to be faithful to your hobbies and possibly give some little tips on how to stay sane even if you have many things going on in your life. But don’t take me wrong – there are many things which I don’t handle and where there is a big room, you can kind of call it a hall, for improvement – and let’s talk about them too.



Studying two ongoing university programs, having student jobs and volunteering at the same time when I was younger taught me how to focus on priorities, multitask and be productive but also how to appreciate my free time. When I decided to start working on my PhD, I was single and lived alone and I had a demanding but only one job related to the topic of my studies. Soon after life happened and I decided to leave my job, start another full-time contract elsewhere but continue to cooperate as an external consultant with my former employer and another public office. I haven’t yet known I was pregnant, anticipated it to be only temporary and assumed that after a certain time I would be able to choose what I like the most and give up the rest. Surprisingly - like if I didn’t know myself and how difficult it is for me to give up on things – I’m now doing even more than I initially expected but somehow still manage to squeeze in also other things, such as learning languages. I’m lucky enough for not having to do this for financial reasons but rather because I actually enjoy it all.


To start, there is one key point I want to make. If you want to prevent burning out from work, focus on other things than work although you feel like you have absolutely no time to spare. The same applies for languages, studying, sports or, as I assume, taking care of your family. I don’t care if you have to sacrifice your lunch breaks or even your sleep – just do it. Distracting your mind from your daily routine, however important, urgent and actually even enjoyable your tasks are, it’s a necessary part of everyone’s mental hygiene. I’m obviously not saying that eating and sleeping well isn’t important, but I believe that temporary physical sacrifices are more bearable than the mental ones.

There are several general rules I try to adopt to keep my sanity:

Don’t be too harsh on yourself

Keep in mind that you are doing what you can (unless you really aren’t) and don’t feel guilty for sometimes wasting your time. Don’t be afraid to take a weekend off and do things that have no purpose, even if it’s binging on Netflix or scrolling down your social media the whole day. We are not programmed to be always productive. If I should choose a quote that really made a difference in my life, it’s the Kurt Vonnegut’s “You are a human being, not a human doing”.

Prioritize people

Relationships are the most important thing in our lives and even if it seems they aren’t they actually are. Realizing this helped me to be much happier than when I only focused on my performance in many areas. Of course, nothing is eternal and you can lose a friend or boyfriend as same as you can lose a job, but you can’t lose your memories of the time spent together and, trust me, having the regret of losing an important person over your career or another activity it’s way worse than the other way around.

Don’t compromise your goals

If you can’t keep up and deliver a quality work, it’s time to give up. When you just can’t force yourself to work hard enough or your multitasking leads to crappy results, it isn’t worth your time and the time and money of the people who pay you. If it’s possible, choose a slower pace to get where you want to be to achieve your goals, but don’t be afraid to let others know you that are overwhelmed and need more time or even a break. There is nothing worst than people pretending to manage their workload when they actually don’t. But be aware that sometimes you may only feel overwhelmed and crappy for a while, even when you are actually doing ok. Then it’s time to step out and get feedback from someone you trust.

Consistency is the queen

Especially when it comes to learning languages, keeping a routine is the most important thing. Spending 5 minutes a day reading news headlines in your target language, learning one word or listening to one video is always better than binge learning at the end of the month. The best thing is that even if you have the busiest day, you can always find those five minutes to keep you on track. Use language learning as a procrastination when you are lazy to work on other things (this has actually worked great for me!). Schedule an italki lesson with a new teacher or have a coffee with your language partners in person every once in a while. Make it fun and it will do the work – make you feel proud and help you to learn more than you would actually expect. Moreover, stronger your habit is, harder it will be to fall off the wagon.

Hobbies are hobbies

I see many people around me who, once they start doing something regularly, feel the need to shift their hobby to the next level. They start to learn a language and soon want to become a teacher or a language mentor. They start to exercise and soon they are working on their trainer’s licence. While there is nothing particularly wrong with this, I think you should always consider keeping your hobbies just hobbies and not to try making profit out of everything. It's simple - you don't have to call yourself a blogger when you run a blog :) Don't let everything to define you or people to push you where you don't want to be. Realizing this has also made a big difference in my life and helped me to feel more relaxed when it comes to my languages or running performance. Doing something for yourself and focusing on the journey rather than your results can be sometimes very refreshing. So what that my French still kind of sucks? I enjoy learning and speaking it and that’s what it’s all about.

Monotask while multitasking

This may be the most challenging one. Moreover, monotasking while multitasking may sound as an oxymoron but it actually isn’t. Remember that good work is never done mindlessly. To spend our time effectively, we need to focus on one thing only and pay attention to details. Whatever you are doing try to be present and mindful. Plan and think ahead. Then take a break and do the same with another task. Be patient with yourself as it may take a while to change your focus. But if anything, this really is worth the energy and your results will prove it.  

Now it may seem that I have an answer to everything, but I actually struggle a lot keeping all my shit together. I find myself not motivated enough when deadlines are still far (which wasn’t happening to me before as I had enough of self-drive to set my own early deadlines and respect them). I don’t sleep well and I’m often just too tired to do anything outside of my regular full-time working hours. I spent way too much time on the social media. I also wished I was able to read and study more and I improve my long-term memory. But trying to stick to the rules mentioned above has really helped me to relax, recognize what is important and I actually hope that also to deliver a good job in all directions. Or at least I didn’t yet go crazy J   

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